Candice: How often do you think you employ the F-word?
Me: A day?
Candice: You pick the denomination.
Me: A conservative estimate? Maybe 25 times, SD of 10. Why do you ask?
Candice: Oh, you know, just curious. I like to BM against the best. This indicates to me that I need to increase usage.
Me: I'm a bit flattered that you think I'm the benchmark of class-A F-word usage.
Candice: I thought you would be.
Me: Okay, K. I apologize. I'm sorry for hacking into your Facebook.
H: Oh man, you got an apology out of her. That's a huge step. She doesn't really believe in apologies.
Me: I actually feel bad about it.
H: That's amazing.
Me: Hi, can I make an appointment for tomorrow morning?
Receptionist: And what will the child be seen for?
Me: Excuse me?
Receptionist: Is the child sick?
Me: Is this a pediatrician?
Me: Oh... that wasn't clearly conveyed online.
Temm: Wesley used to know that it was you on the phone.
Temm: Your picture would pop up.
Temm: But now all he sees is a picture of two hands flicking him off.
N: I have to buy my wife a Chanel purse.
N: What other brands do you think are nice?
Me: You need to go with Chanel.
N: What about Fendi?
Me: Fendi is what you carry around in college.
H: It makes me want to vomit when I hear you say things like that.
Today is my last day in Dallas. It's been... no, forget it. I'm not even gonna lie. It was hot, smelly, and extremely unpleasant. Despite that, my team was amazing, mostly because they let me make fun of them all the time. Special shout out to K since I probably won't ever have a chance to work with him again.
To wrap it up, here are some of my favorite memories:
- When K almost killed N by driving away when N wasn't fully in the car yet
- When H threw a rolled up tissue at N's head as hard as he could; I dunno why, but it was hilarious
- When K accidentally honked at children crossing the street and followed with, 'Oops.'
- When MB ordered the seafood platter and drank six glasses of wine at dinner
- When H asked for data at the most inappropriate time and in the most inappropriate way
- When H talked major trash at the 5th tier consultants in the room
- When J came to celebrate with us and we ended up at some stanky dive bar with the locals
- When N made Partner and I was the first person to find out
- When K admitted that this was his favorite study and team
- When we all hugged it out at the end and said we'll miss each other; though I think I'm the only one who said it out loud
And onward to the next adventure!