H: How was your weekend?
H: Yea? What'd you do?
Me: Whatever the fuck I wanted.
Last week didn't end well. This is the last conversation I had on Thursday before I left work.
S: We need to schedule the meeting for tonight.
Me: Just do it on Monday.
S: No, we can't keep delaying.
Me: It has no effect on our analysis. Do it on Monday. I won't be here tonight.
S: If you have to stay Friday, if you have to stay the weekend, I don't fucking care. Just get that shit done.
Me: Oh, no you didn't.
The rest of the conversation is not internet-safe. Let's just say that I made it clear that NO ONE dictates when I stay, when I go, and when I get shit done. I earned the right to be trusted with my decision-making skills. Also, I'm a motherfucking adult. Don't treat me like I'm your bitch.
So on my flight back to the West Coast on Thursday night, I thought about what really means the most to me in life. To be completely honest, my job wasn't on the list. I was flying to San Francisco to take care of a few work errands, but also to spend time with some great friends - which was very high on my list.
Nick recently sent me a link to an article about busyness and how it consumes our lives. He sent me the article most likely to encourage better behavior when it comes to over-booking my free time with so much shit that inevitably leads to my constant complaining about being busy. Just to illustrate how much I complain to Nick, he thought I wouldn't read the article because I was too busy.
My retort to the article isn't necessarily because I'm defending my decision to be busy. I agree that it is indeed a decision. But that it shouldn't be considered complaining.
I don't want to wait till retirement to enjoy life. I don't want to wait till after my future kids are grown to go diving in the Galapagos or use the bathroom at Potala Palace (both of which I've done). I hate it when I catch myself saying "I've always wanted to..." because what the fuck was keeping me? Myself? That's stupid.
So now whenever I think "I've always wanted to..." I spend the next hour on the web looking it up, and finding a way to get it done. That's why I have no problem flying to San Francisco on a random weekend in September to see my friends and celebrate birthdays. And that's why I'm always busy.
The more I think about it, I care less and less about the fancy shit that I normally obsess over - needless to say, I still like it. I am, clearly, Korean. But I'd rather spend that energy on experiences now. Doing cool stuff, going to cool places, and spending time with my cool friends.
The one thing I learned from that Lorde song (Royals) is that kids who didn't come from money don't buy into all that materialistic shit because they rule their own lives in their own way. I thought - Seriously? This 16-year-old is more confident about her life than I am. I think it might be time to end my love affair with Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on my timepiece... and move onto something more real.