Tuesday, September 23, 2014

America's Next Top Roommate

My roommate is moving out in a few weeks - so now I have the privilege of finding a new co-inhabitant in my fancy San Francisco digs. Given I have found a place to live my fair share of times on Craigslist, I've become some sort of elitist when it comes to posting publicly.

J: Did you post on Craigslist?
Me: Oh, God, no.
J: Why not?
Me: I could not be bothered to filter out crackheads and perverts.
J: Where are you posting, then?
Me: Through Google and other tech internal forums. At least they do the prelim background searches for you, and if shit hits the fan, you can start some office gossip to ruin their lives.
J: Really thought this through.
Me: Yup.

Through both my roommate and my networks, we managed to find four viable candidates. The choice will be made by the end of today. Exciting, I know.

1 - The Young Blood: (6/10)
You know those kids on Silicon Valley who look like they're 18-years-old, but write intense code on some platform we don't even know how to pronounce? Yea, that's this girl. She looks young, but I know with certainty that she is part of the Engineering team somewhere. And you know how they are - they won't even share the free yogurt in their special fridge.

YB: Is there a nightlife around here?
Me: No, we're in SoMa.
YB: Where do you hang out?
Me: It embarrasses me how I don't know how to answer your question.
YB: What do you do at Google?
Me: Sales operations.
YB: Oh... (super judgmentally)

2 - Aussie Cat Lady (8/10)
She didn't bother to tell me anything about herself, but sent me about a dozen pictures of her two cats. She gets major points for being pretty, though, and also, given she's an Aussie, I'm hoping I can learn how to imitate the Aussie accent without offending her too much.

3 - Golden Retriever Girl (9/10)
She introduced herself by sending me her blog and let me just say, it's FANTASTIC. She's a UX/UI designer, which means after she decorates this apartment, I'll feel like I died and woke up in Room&Board heaven. I'm sort of looking forward to that.

Me: I'm leaning towards the girl with the Golden Retriever.
Temm: You can't pick a roommate based on their pet.
Me: But it's been my dream to have a roommate with a dog!

4 - Fobby Korean (9/10)
I got this referral through church. Background story, I had a roommate back in college I met through church and she ended up stealing my identify AND my favorite pair of jeans. I've been scarred. But this girl just gave up her return offer to McK and went to Stanford GSB. That speaks monuments about her character - in a good way, for those who are unclear.

FK: I'm joining a start-up so I'll be working really late nights.
Me: I watch Korean dramas so I have really late nights too.
FK: Oh, I can watch Korean dramas with you.
Me: This... might work.

We'll see what happens. I'm sad to lose my roommate to the Marina (seriously, who moves from SoMa to the Marina - that's like taking a pay cut to go from McK to Google... oh, wait). But I'm also thankful that I have some great people who are actually interested in living with me. They have no idea how weird I can get.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Goodbye to an old friend

Ten years and ten months. It's the longest relationship I've ever been in, and quite frankly, the most drama-free, functional, reliable one I've been in thus far. Today, that relationship came to an end, and all I keep thinking is...

I ain't shedding a tear!

Goodbye, TicTac. You were a wonderful car and you've followed me from Berkeley, Los Angeles, Chicago, back to Los Angeles, and to your final resting place in San Francisco. Sorry for leaving you outside when it was hailing, for spilling boba on your seats, and for ignoring that weird faucet light that supposedly warned me about something engine-related. You were a good friend, but I won't miss you. Because you were a ddong cha (poop car).

On December 21, 2003, I bought my very first car. From the entire experience, I realized my decision-making is a simple model driven mostly by how easily I'm able to be manipulated by my dad.

Flashback to December 2003...
Me: Dad, I need a car.
Dad: Okay, what car do you want?
Me: I want a superfly BMW 3-series.
Dad: I'll double whatever you have for the down payment, and pay for your monthly payments until the day you graduate. After that, the rest of the payments are on you. So choose wisely.
Me: ... Okay, I'll get an Acura RSX.

Flashback to May 2005...
Dad: Give me back my credit card and car payments start now.
Me: I don't even get a grace period?!
Dad: No. You had plenty of time.

Flashback to May 2007...
Mom: I'm sorry.
Me: For what?
Mom: I drove your car today.
Me: And?
Mom: And I realized you have a really crappy car.
Dad: Don't tell her that, she'll believe you. Connie, you have a nice car.

Flashback to September 2009...
Me: I want a new car.
Dad: Whatever new car you get is not going on my insurance. You can keep your current car on my insurance for as long as you have it, though.
Me: Huh.
Dad: Do you still want a new car?
Me: Nope.

Flashback to June 2011...
Me: I want a new car.
Dad: Whatever new car you get is not going on my insurance.
Me: Why is this still working on me?!?

Flashback to June 2014...
Me: I want a new car.
Dad: Whatever new car you get is not going on my insurance.
Me: I don't care! I don't care! It's embarrassing to drive this ddong cha!

Flashback to July 2014...
Me: Dad, I got into a car accident.
Dad: Congratulations!
Me: What?
Dad: Wait, are you hurt?
Me: No.
Dad: Was it your fault?
Me: No.
Dad: Congratulations! You said you wanted a new car. This is great!
Me: I... guess...
Dad: Oh, and I'm going to cancel your insurance.