Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Mother/Daughter Moments (Part 1)

Doing it a little different today because... well, because there is no other way to describe the situation that happened to me this morning. I'll just dictate the conversations to illustrate. No creativity needed. Try to imagine that most of the conversations I had with my mom were in Korean, and by nature the Korean language is much better at describing all things.

Me: Mom, my stomach hurts really bad. I'm going to go to the hospital. Do you want to go with me?
Mom: Of course I'll go with you. What's wrong?
Me: I think I have an ulcer.
Mom: Yea, you probably do. 

Mom: My daughter is in a lot of pain. How much longer do we have to wait?
Receptionist: She's next.
Mom: Oh, good, thank you. Connie, they say you're next.
Me: Liars. They're all liars. They don't care that I'm in pain.
Mom: Do you want me to hit them?
Me: Yes.

Doctor: Does it hurt when I...
Doctor: Hmm... that's your kidney.
Me: Okay.
Doctor: You seem to have a kidney infection.
Me: How'd that happen?
Doctor: Did you have pain in your stomach region for awhile?
Me: Yes.
Doctor: Did you ignore it thinking it'll go away?
Me: Yes.
Doctor: Well, don't do that next time. It was probably just a minor infection... but now it's pretty severe.
Me: Okay, what should I do?
Doctor: I'm going to give you a shot. In your butt.
Me: Okay.
Doctor: It's going to hurt.

Nurse: You need to relax.
Me: It's really hard to relax when I can see the needle in your hand.
Nurse: It'll hurt more if you don't relax.
Me: This is my best attempt at relaxing.
Nurse: Okay, let me know if you have any allergic reactions within the next 15 minutes.
Me: Such as?
Nurse: Nausea, shortness of breath, swelling of the throat, stuff like that.
Me: If I do?
Nurse: Then you're allergic. 
Me: Thanks.

Mom: You have to press on it to spread the medicine.
Me: Don't touch me.... HOLY CHRIST, MOM!
Mom: Mom's hand is the medicine... Mom's hand is the medicine...

Mom: We're on our way home now. 
Dad: What happened?
Mom: Connie was sick so I had to take her to the hospital.
Dad: She drank too much again??
Mom: No, not this time.
Dad: She shouldn't drink so much.
Mom: No, I think this is different. Kidney. Not liver.

Mom: You need to take care of yourself.
Me: Normally, I do. It's been a stressful couple weeks.
Mom: I mean, because a kidney infection... that's embarrassing.
Me: It's the first time, Mom. 
Mom: Infections are a dirty disease for dirty people.
Me: I'm not a dirty person, Mom. I just had a stressful week.
Mom: Keep yourself clean, Connie.
Me: Mom, I'm clean. Haven't you ever had an infection before?
Mom: No.

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