Monday, March 11, 2013

Chronicles of a Single Girl (Part 3)

I like learning new things. It's kind of my daily goal and this weekend was actually full of nothing but achieving goals.

Let me start by saying... there's a motherfucking Earl of Sandwich at Newark Airport. How come no one has ever mentioned this on Facebook? I thought people shared important information that benefited general society on our crowd sourcing center of the universe. What the fuck, people. Thanks for nothing.

Anyway, I just wrapped up my NYC weekend getaway with my one and only Pegasus. I owe her apologies for a long, long, long time. But I'm hoping she forgives me because she really is one of my closest friends. 

Let's share a few of my continued learnings as a single girl... 

0. Don't be selfish around your good friends. 

There's no real explanation to this that I care to share. Just that I was selfish, and I feel terrible about it.

1. You're never too old to be excited about Friday nights. 

P: We have brunch w Candice in 20 minutes. How do you feel?
Me: I think I'm still drunk.
P: Not hungover?
Me: Maybe a little.
P: I don't remember the second place we went to last night.
Me: We went to a second place??
P: Oh, we went to No Fun. I can see the stamp on your hand.

2. There's no rule against treating yourself to Chanel. 

C: My old wallet was so worn, it needed a haircut. It takes me forever to buy new shit. I circle things that I want like a vulture for months. But look who I'm talking to, you guys just impulsed shopped at Chanel.
Me: It wasn't on impulse. I gave myself a budget in January.
P: She bought two Chanel bags.
Me: But it was all within my set budget.

3. Doesn't matter how old they get... some boys will always be gross. 

J: I have some lemonade.
R: Nice. Wait, what's this? Dude, there's mold in your lemonade. That shit is nasty.
J: Oh, I knew it was kinda old...
P: How could you offer something that has mold in it?

4. Doesn't matter how old they get... some boys will always be ridiculous. 

J: Your emails don't make any sense.
R: Read one back to me.
J: "I love red jackets, that's my fucking problem. Beast."
R: How does that not make sense? 

5. Doesn't matter how painful work gets... it enables the shit out of me. 

A: Your study got extended 5 more weeks.
Me: Okay.
A: But afterwards, there's a training you should go to.
Me: Okay.
A: It's in Germany.
Me: Sick....

And now, perhaps out of punishment... or equilibrium... or whatever... I feel ill. I love bad bitches, that's my fucking problem.

No comments:

Post a Comment