Thursday, May 30, 2013

Anger management Wednesdays

I'm like a leaf floating in the water, drifting calmly against the cool of the nascent waves. And as time passes, I'll be there, a speck in the vast ocean of your world. But as time goes on, without your knowing it, I'll fade into the peripheral... until one day, I'll be gone. And the ocean will be free from blemish yet once again.

Me: I'm time-boxing this shit. Five years. Max.
C: Why five years?
Me: Because anything can happen in five years.

Though lately, I've really solved for my own level of happiness, it seems a bit of a facade at times. I feel like maybe constantly saying yes to myself is actually turning me into a crazy, high-maintenance, insatiable, overly-demanding crazy person.

Me: This dumb bitch won't let me into the building. Five fucking minutes. She says I'm too early by five fucking minutes. So she won't even bother to call reception. She has too much power for her own good. Stupid, dumb, useless twat, stealing minutes from my life. If I could bill her, I would.
M: Shit. what time is it?
Me: Oh, sorry. Did I wake you? I was just so mad, I had to call someone.

Sometime around 1998, I turned into the most temperamental person alive. I used to call it teenage angst, but as it became more prevalent in my early 20s, I realized it might actually be an inherent trait that remained dormant pre-1998. Anyway, I got very good at keeping it locked down for a long time. But it appears that my volatile nature is back. And it's raging.

So as I sat here, storylining my work stream, I thought - Why am I getting so mad at text boxes without the formatted bullets? I shouldn't be this mad over something so stupid...

That's when I realized that I need to mellow the fuck out. The fact that I'm taking random shit in my life too seriously is making me angry. And you know what I'm really good at? Not taking shit too seriously.

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