Everything comes to an end...

This was my farewell email to my colleagues. Who says I'm not sentimental?
_____________________________

I was going to write this heartfelt message that talked about how much I learned at McK and how I will always treasure these past years as some of the most spectacular in my life...

... but I read an article on Buzzfeed on how no one wants to hear that stuff.

Instead, I'll say this.

The past 2.5 years were some of the hardest in my career. I was physically sick much of the time and fell asleep curled up in a ball at so many airport gates to the point where the ding of the boarding signal is like a dog whistle to me now. I ordered way too much for dinner, and learned how to scarf down an entire sandwich in 5 minutes at my desk. I also became so severely addicted to coffee that I almost had to go to rehab, except my team kept insisting coffee was a good kind of bad habit. I spent way too much time talking to my SPG ambassador, and used the phrase "but I'm not just Platinum... I'm ultra Platinum" way too many times. And I was given nicknames that included "Slide Ninja" and "The Tiger" in reference to my abilities to shame new BAs who I insisted should be better at using PowerPoint given how it's dinosaur technology compared to the apps they should've coded themselves in college.

But despite all that pain, agony, and palm-to-face nights waiting at Kinko's for our workshop booklets to print, I can admit without a doubt that I love the Firm. And I'm thankful to have been given the opportunity to learn from the smartest people I have ever worked with in my life.

If I'm lucky, I will have the pleasure of working with you again in the future...

Special thanks to N. K. and P. R. for giving me honest advice and for helping me become a better person.

Till next time,

Connie

Worth the effort

The other night, I babysat my nephews while my sister and brother-in-law went on a date. Occasionally, I witness the life my sister lives, and I feel this urge to help. And oddly enough, I thought helping was to remind her of what an awesome person she is to hang out with, and the reason my brother-in-law is lucky to have her.

Sis: Dinner was so much fun!
Me: I'm so glad!
Sis: [30 minute description of dinner]
Me: Oh good, you tried all the good stuff.

Next morning...

Sis: Dinner was so much fun!

Next afternoon...

Sis: Dinner was so much fun!

That's when I knew that she really must've had fun.

I have this unwavering belief that every relationship requires effort. I'm not talking about the relationship my sister has with her husband. That's beyond my juridiction. No. I'm talking about the relationship I have with my sister.

As the saying goes, every person has a different way of showing love. Words. Actions. Whatever else is in that book.

But the way I show love is to adapt to how that person receives it.

For my sister, the way to show her that I love her is to think from her point of view, recognize what she would appreciate, and do those things without her having to ask. And lucky for me, I can do this fairly easily, mostly because I've known her for 30 years.

I think my sister misses the person she was before kids. Not that she doesn't love her kids, I've never seen another human love her kids as much as she loves hers. But before she had kids, my sister was a fun-loving, outgoing LA girl who tried the best restaurants and had great adventures with her husband. But two kids, a full-time job, a mortgage, and endless responsibilities can take its toll.

I just wanted to remind her that she's still that girl. And that girl came home from dinner on Friday night.

As 2014 moves forward, I am continuing to add new goals to my list. One of those goals is to show those around me that I love them, to invest in the relationships I have with my family and friends. And to take the time to learn how that person receives love. Because honestly, it's worth it.

2014: to be a better version of 2013

I was spoiled by 2013.

I finally got my shit together with work. I shared amazing new experiences with my equally amazing friends. I made great new friends and built promising relationships with them. My family is healthy, happy, and very close. And after the turbulence that 2012 left me in, I found inner peace and a rhythm in life that made me feel very comfortable.

Not to mention all the Gucci, Chanel, Louboutin, and Hermes. But we all know that all that shit is just frosting.

As the confetti fell abundantly all over the carpet in our quaint Little Tokyo apartment last night, I started to reflect on my expectations and goals for 2014.

A risky business.

I was always one of the doubting Thomases when it came to expectations. Why set yourself up for disappointment?

But I think the key is to surround yourself with the right people, and most importantly, to have the right perspective and attitude.

One of the key things that I learned from the Firm is that the minute you're too comfortable, you're no longer developing and challenging yourself. Therefore, you should always feel slightly scared, slightly unfamiliar, and eager to learn more. Only then will you become a better version of yourself.

So 2014 starts with one of the most surprising decisions that has shocked many of my closest friends and family.

I am moving to San Francisco.

I have no idea what this adventure will bring - how I will adapt, the people I will meet, the life I will assume. But not knowing is the best part.

The attitude I have going into 2014 is absolute positivity. I will embrace all things with an open mind. I will do my best to always look on the bright side of things, to assume the good in people, and be a kinder, warmer person to those around me. And in the process, I hope to try new things, explore countries I've never been to before, and learn my ass off.

I know that some people may think that I'm this aggressively caustic person who uses the F-word too much (true, I do use the F-word too much). But if you get to know me, I'm actually extremely soft. And though I used to think it was a weakness to let this side out, I find that it makes me happier to show people that I have feelings and that I give a shit about you.

I have no idea what 2014 will bring, but I'm dedicated to making everyday count for something.

The power of presentation

Me: I asked him for his opinion and I was semi-offended at how flippant he was about it.

J: Did he know it was a serious discussion?

Me: I didn't explicitly state it was serious, but he should have the sense to know.

What followed was a rant on how I only ask a select number of people for their opinions, and if I don't feel that their input is (1) considerate, (2) valuable, and (3) based on the fact that they give a shit about me, then I move you from one circle to another. 

Because I work better when I have something to speak to, I drew up a few pages to explain myself.

Tolerance level

When I meet someone, it takes roughly 15 minutes for me to know whether or not I'll be friends with you (for at least a short amount of time). Sometimes I get stuck with you for reasons out of my control, and if I already know that interacting with you is going to make me want to stab myself in the eye, good luck getting out of a blog post.

Depth of conversation

My ability to have an energizing conversation with you really is your responsibility. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy a good discussion on how ice cream is the best shit ever or on the newest snowboards out there, but if I don't feel like you know how to go one step further into a thought process, I will most likely never talk to you again. Unless I get stuck with you for reasons out of my control. Same results as above.

Interactions with other people

Over the years, I've collected a very select group of friends whom I trust and keep very close to me. And I'll be the first to agree wholeheartedly that girls have the tendency to be "besties, omg, BFFF!" for a few months and then quickly switch to "yea, I know her, but she got too cool/married/weird". But once you make it into that core circle - tested through trial and tribulations - you've made it into a place where you have the power to actually hurt my feelings.

Anyway, my point is that I don't have a ton of friends nor do I have the intention to have a ton of friends. I know that people dislike me and think that I'm a pretentious bitch when it comes to categorizing you into a "useful" or "uesless" person. But I don't fake it, and I like to surround myself with people who care, who think that life is more than about material goods and work, and who actually have a functioning brain and heart. That's it. And truth be told, it's not easy to find.

That's why it's so disappointing when I thought you were one thing... and I was wrong.

You're lucky I'm too tired to slap you right now

L: I got your request last night for that trend analysis.
Me: Oh, great. When can I get that?
L: I don't really see how it fits into the story.
Me: I think it's a compelling way to start the conversation.
L: It'll take me some time to find.
Me: Okay, just let me know.
L: Oh, by the way, I baked a cake this morning. Help yourself.

Really, lady? You had time to bake a motherfucking cake this morning? You know what would've been really great? If you had used that time to pull the analysis that I had asked for instead of baking a stupid ass cake that no one is going to eat. Yea, how about doing your job? That'd be super.

Flight attendant: MISS! MISS! [shoves my arm aggressively]
Me: Sweet geesus, what?
FA: You need to move your bag an inch forward. It's federal regulation.
Me: Oh, well, if it's federal regulation...

Really, lady? It's a dangerous sport to wake a sleep-deprived consultant just as she barely drifts off after having edited a document she had nicknamed the Mothership U.S.S. Enterprise. Imagine poking a stick at a polar bear while he had just entered into hibernation. I'm sure he'd fuck you up. It's like that. But worse.

L: I think we need to see the document today.
Me: Why today?
L: So we can provide edits by Friday and you can work on it over the weekend.

Really, lady? Okay, sure, that sounds like a fantastic plan. I now have every incentive to do that for you so that I can spend my entire weekend deleting all your useless comments. My favorite activity ever! Ever heard of the carrot-stick approach? If you don't have a fucking carrot, people end up beating you with a stick. Yea, that's what that means.

Flight attendant: Excuse me, ma'am. You can't use that right now.
Me: Use what?
FA: Your wireless mouse.
Me: Why not?
FA: It sends signals that interfere with the plane.

Really, lady? My little wireless mouse sends transmission waves strong enough to threaten the safety of this gigantic plane? Well, if that's true, then I'm a powerful motherfucker right now, aren't I? Watch out, everyone! I have a wireless mouse! Don't come too close or I might move the cursor over your face and Minesweep your ass into oblivion!

I swear, if I weren't such a composed human being, there'd be a lot of bitch slapping happening today. Good thing I'm so nice and patient.

Writing emails for a living

A: You write the best emails.
Me: I do?
A: Yea, they're so weird.

To be honest, I sometimes forget that I'm writing to colleagues - but then again, who am I kidding? I rarely hide my true personality in any given setting. What you see is what you get - and if that means that my colleagues think I'm weird, well... I'm okay with that.

Here are some examples I've sent to my current team...

---

Hey P -

My main ask for tomorrow from the client is as follows:
1. Feedback on content, chewed, digested
2. Workshop agenda alignment from the peanut gallery

My main ask for P, Mentor of the Month (true story):
1. Review and comments on the workshop document - hint: it's awesome
2. I just wrote this because a list requires more than one line

Okay, thanks a ton!

From outerspace,
Connie

---

Gang - 

Just thinking that for each section, we need to summarize the "how the hell did we come to this conclusion" and then follow w the detailed pages. I only pulled in the pages that are good enough to share - needless to say, we have much more than this but didn't want to put all the eggs on the table until they were ready to hatch. It can adapt, but just wanted to get the "yea, totally" before building out.

Thanks!
Connie

---

Okay team -

Here is the main deliverable aka Mothership aka USS Enterprise currently in all its glory. Still have a lot of floating input around - so don't judge on "hey, where's that page I thought I said to put in here" just quite yet.

Keep comments to yourself. Just kidding.

Connie

---

And that was just today. Oh, and I wrote that first one on my flight which is why I said "outerspace" - which is actually the flight I am on right now - so technically, I'm writing this blog from outerspace, too.

New investors in the Connie Fund

I decided to drive down to Torrance today and spend some time with my parents. They're newly retired and have become even more entertaining since they now rely on me for financial decisions. It's really something special.

Me: Okay, so this is how much I owe you guys.
Dad: What are you going to do with it?
Me: Pay off my school loans.
Dad: Why is that balance so high?
Me: Because Mom loaned me money a few months ago.
Dad: And you kept track of it?
Me: What do you think I am? A leech??
Dad: No. Just that you sometimes conveniently forget things.
Me: Like what??
Dad: I don't remember because you don't remind us.
Me: ...

Mom: How long do dried mangoes last?
Me: Normally, longer than you think.
 Mom: How about these?
Me: The ones you just put in front of me? 10... maybe 15 minutes before I inhale them all.

Me: Okay, I'll be right back. I'm gonna go to the dentist.
Dad: Wash your face before you go.
Me: What? Why?
Dad: He might be single.
Me: Eww, dad. That's gross. He's old.
Dad: Who says you're young!?
Me: Bye, dad.

Mom: Hey, they opened up a new burger place.
Me: Which?
Mom: It's called Four Guys.
Me: Five Guys?
Mom: Yea, Five guys. You wanna check it out?
Me: No, thanks. It's all over the Midwest.
Mom: Oh, you're right. We're from LA. We should stick to In n Out.
Me: Totally.

Me: I have to go renew my lease for my apartment.
Dad: I have an idea.
Me: No.
Dad: You should move back into the house.
Me: No.
Mom: Why not?
Me: Last time I did that, I almost killed both of you.
Dad: You'd save so much money.
Me: Okay, well, I'm going to have people over every weekend and we're going to drink and do drugs.
Dad: It's okay. Your mom and I will just leave when you have friends over.
Me: It'll be until 6am and sometimes they'll never leave.
Mom: Forget it, she's not joking.

That said, I love my parents. They lent me a whole pile of money today to pay off my school loans. All I have to do now is promise to give them money in a gradually increasing amount every month for the rest of their lives. In essence, they've invested in an annuity called the Connie Fund at an undisclosed interest rate. If I end up paying them more than I owed in the beginning, that means they've been healthy enough to stick around... in which case, I win. Because I love my parents.