The power of presentation

Me: I asked him for his opinion and I was semi-offended at how flippant he was about it.

J: Did he know it was a serious discussion?

Me: I didn't explicitly state it was serious, but he should have the sense to know.

What followed was a rant on how I only ask a select number of people for their opinions, and if I don't feel that their input is (1) considerate, (2) valuable, and (3) based on the fact that they give a shit about me, then I move you from one circle to another. 

Because I work better when I have something to speak to, I drew up a few pages to explain myself.

Tolerance level

When I meet someone, it takes roughly 15 minutes for me to know whether or not I'll be friends with you (for at least a short amount of time). Sometimes I get stuck with you for reasons out of my control, and if I already know that interacting with you is going to make me want to stab myself in the eye, good luck getting out of a blog post.

Depth of conversation

My ability to have an energizing conversation with you really is your responsibility. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy a good discussion on how ice cream is the best shit ever or on the newest snowboards out there, but if I don't feel like you know how to go one step further into a thought process, I will most likely never talk to you again. Unless I get stuck with you for reasons out of my control. Same results as above.

Interactions with other people

Over the years, I've collected a very select group of friends whom I trust and keep very close to me. And I'll be the first to agree wholeheartedly that girls have the tendency to be "besties, omg, BFFF!" for a few months and then quickly switch to "yea, I know her, but she got too cool/married/weird". But once you make it into that core circle - tested through trial and tribulations - you've made it into a place where you have the power to actually hurt my feelings.

Anyway, my point is that I don't have a ton of friends nor do I have the intention to have a ton of friends. I know that people dislike me and think that I'm a pretentious bitch when it comes to categorizing you into a "useful" or "uesless" person. But I don't fake it, and I like to surround myself with people who care, who think that life is more than about material goods and work, and who actually have a functioning brain and heart. That's it. And truth be told, it's not easy to find.

That's why it's so disappointing when I thought you were one thing... and I was wrong.