I'm through feeling guilty.
Without going into too much detail, a little over a year ago I make the biggest mistake of my life. And at the time, I wondered how I could ever equalize my karma to save myself from the flames of an inevitable hell.
I didn't have to wonder for long because my punishment came in the form of hell on Earth. And the rest of 2012 was a great learning experience on how despite my best intentions, the only person who can save me is myself.
At this point, I think I've come to a place where I can honestly say that I've leveled the playing field - finally found neutral ground. The people who hate me can continue to hate me. The people who forgave me will be appreciated. And the people who never judged me during that entire time are my true friends.
And that's it.
Now, after all this time, I have this uncanny ability to identify the mistakes that I've made - but also to refuse to take the blame for mistakes I did not make. Other people taking my actions or words as something it is clearly not, is hardly my fault. I will not apologize.
What the fuck.
Friday, March 8, 2013
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